Word Porn

The more I browse through this site wordporn and read and understand the philosophical and spiritual stuffs said there, the more I believe that I am not normal. But that is the best part of it all, it says that it is more than okay to be crazy and no work of art has been accomplished till date without a slight hint of madness. 

And frankly I would hate to be with someone who pretends to be normal and who would make me as pretensions because for most people it is so very important to keep up appearances. It is like their whole life is spent pleasing somebody or the other by agreeing to things they feel the entire opposite of or just sucking up to somebody. Being unoriginal, being like everyone else, trying to mingle in the crowd.

So I have never had a problem fitting in. I am not so much of an introvert. I do not dread social interactions but I prefer to avoid them as far as possible. I am not anti-social, I have people I like to confide in. I just like to keep away from useless interactions and small talk.

And this picture is actually the reason I am ranting here. This is not a problem that I have faced. I read and I love reading. I may not be one of those girls completely absorbed in books who forgets to eat and sleep or forgets that a real world exists around her, but I know what it is like to travel to a whole different realm and imagine being with the characters in their world of fantasy.

I have always been proud of myself and I love myself just how I am. I am so thankful I am not a bimbo, I have the aptitude and openness for an intellectual conversation and a highly imaginative mind, and because of the way I look I am not an outcast.  Though the thought had never occurred to me before if I would be labelled a outcast because I prefer reading and spending time alone rather than talk to just about anyone who comes in front of me. I wonder if people would think I am more weird that they think I am now if I looked more bad. Bacause no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you try to change it, a girl will be judged by her looks first amongst other things. A friend of mine once said to me very honestly that trusting  a guy of loving me truly is more difficult for me than others because first of all I have to make sure it is not the looks that have attracted him. Of course I care about the way I look but my thoughts go deeper than that.

So I was just talking to another friend of mine about how important it is to be able to communicate with others without being afraid of saying how you feel and how intellectual and spiritual conversation is like comfort food for your soul, like a good book is to your mind. And one of my turn-ons is the two of you looking at a third person together and saying, preferably at the same time how he/she reminds you of somebody from this book that you've both read! Now that would be my kind of love-at-first-sight.

So I don't know if I am actually a sapiosexual but I am attracted to people who have a beautiful mind and are not afraid of speaking it out no matter how weird it is, because we have all heard and read the ordinary normal everyday thoughts and views time and over again but it is the novelty and craziness that makes one different. Of course this craziness does not refer to dumb people expressing a copy/pasted opinion from somewhere. This is a different kind of crazy, the kind that does not get on your nerves, the kind that makes people who listen to this crazy realize that you said so because you are more clever than other people and not because you are foolish enough not to care what others think of you for speaking your mind. 

Phoebe Caulfield is one of my favorite characters of all times and she is not even a major character. I love what Holden says about her "You'd like her. I mean if you tell old Phoebe something, she knows exactly what the hell you're talking about. I mean you can even take her anywhere with you. If you take her to a lousy movie, for instance, she knows it's a lousy movie. If you take her to a pretty good movie, she knows it's a pretty good movie." That is the kind of person I aspire to become and the kind of person I would want to be with. Somebody who can interpret the terribly tiny tales and the philosophical stuffs the great authors have said, and though they may not always get it right the way the author meant it to be, they would know that there are no right answers to spiritual stuffs.